Good sex in a bad relationship

"Without love there is no good sex" - often we say. Suddenly, good sex, and suddenly, without love ... Everyone is building its scale of "good - bad". And even you have with your partner may have different assessments of your surroundings.

For example, in bed, everything will take even very good, but here's the rest leaves much to be desired. At present aspect of the relationship you care about most. The most important thing at this stage "construction" to give free rein to the natural course of things, not build your way to the impregnable barrier in the form of "should", "so right", "thou shalt" ... Otherwise, the already fragile Bedding harmony will be jeopardized .

Destructive pressure

"Sex should be a consequence of love ..." This and other similar dogma we at the tender age blindly accept at face value without checking, by not contesting, swallowing and not digested. Just take it as a guide to action. And it stuck "block" kept pushing us to the question: it does not show me the proper interest, it is necessary that it has changed, yes, good in bed, but it is not the main ...

So drop by drop of tar spoils a barrel of honey. The ought kills everything. And sex, and relationships. If you say to yourself: there should be a good sex - which means that it will not, be on good terms - it means ... The ought - it is a struggle with himself, this is a false moralizing in favor of meaningful for us, "educators." But in this case to make this assertion their experience!

Egg or chicken?
Frankly, the question that the primary, sex or relationships, reminiscent of another notorious dilemma: which came first, the chicken or the egg. Yet often the case that good sex creates an interest relations, puts a premium on openness, trust, common issues. Love involves an erotic dimension, because we fall in love in a sexually attractive to us humans. So, if you follow the tenet of "first attitude, we must convince yourself that your partner physically, we" disgusting ", but otherwise just darling ...

And wait until there love, that to this very moment suddenly remember that he has a strong beautiful body? Most likely, this love, too, will look like the violence on themselves. Even worse - to convince myself that it is, where it is absent. Finally, invented love, even worse than just understanding each other in bed. The curvature of the soul turns. A good relationship can be the basis of sex, but it is also true that a good sex contributes to the development of relations.

Playing in a bad relationship

"But why - asks Elina - after another scandal, we love each other intoxicating?" Is not surprising, since the scandal - is discharging, it is a splash of energy. And that is not discharged words and broken crockery, discharged during intimate duels. And the benefit staged scandal is obvious, but only for as long as him not reached the routine, everyday train. Lost the charm of novelty, it ceases to excite. Unfriendly, whatever one may relate to the humiliation. Judges and victims can turn to switch roles. Again, stress, a prelude to relaxation.

But the "strain" can be either destructive ( "Are you not noticed, not congratulated, not wiped his feet, too late, did not answer ..." or "you should meet me") - and then hello great sex. And you can - positively: as soon as sexual game with elements of sadomasochistic moved to the bedroom, the relationship alive. She went to cheat, there was passion, and already two "opponents" on the brink, you can not. And all the bans, as we know, poprityagatelnee magnet. It is better to play in the game-conscious than unconscious.