We all know that a man loves a woman perceives and eyes, ears, a man and a woman. All this is correct, but there is one thing. " It turns out that recent research in this area have shown that men and women "smell" each other by smell.
Each person has his own conception of what erotic. And find out what really excites you and your partner is not so easy, because during lovemaking involving almost all the senses. And a special role is played here smells.
Everyone has their own "nature spirits". Solo smell of men and women depends on many factors, but mainly it deals with the peculiarities of hormonal and immune systems, bio-energy field and the bacteria that live on our skin. The smell is just as unique as fingerprints, and largely determines the attractiveness for us or that person.
More strongly pronounced smell of the southern people, at least - at the northern, racial differences also play an important role. Have different smells and different parts of the body: skin, hair, smooth folds of the body, reproductive organs, saliva, semen. Sensitivity to smells different too. The greatest influence on the psycho-emotional centers have odors from the South, the Eastern peoples and the least - at the northern Europeans.
The natural scent of pure woman's body - is its largest value after sexual beauty. It comes from all the women: from hair, skin, lips, breasts, armpits, genitals, the clothes that she wears. No two women with the same smell as men.
As the individual has the smell of women in the sex so important, it must take care that it was pleasant, as frequently and thoroughly as their looks, skillfully use it when a man seduces and when it deals with love, with the same ably, as his body.
Nature can provide invaluable assistance in this difficult question: to enhance, correct or mask the natural scent of the individual partners, or purify it from the various layers, improve and protect their energy fields.
If hormones are substances courier man's inner world, it smells in the form of sexually significant scents, called pheromones, and many exist in the natural environment. To this group, in particular, include some essential oils.
Use of incense from a physiological point of view of the different objectives and can be divided into several categories. One category is a common purpose - to neutralize the unpleasant smell in the air and through effects on the central nervous system to enhance sexual feelings.
The second category of spices directly acts on the sexual sphere of the person, may also enhance or weaken the individual smells of sex, to initiate or eliminate erotic fantasies.
These scents are divided into male-dominated, the most relevant natural body odors of male and female, harmonizing with the smell of the body, hair, woman and beneficial effects on the male genital area.
Of the essential oils purely masculine direction, we note ginger, cypress, thyme, cedar, cinnamon, sandalwood, nutmeg, and women - this jasmine, geranium, neroli, rose, ylang-ylang, bitter almonds.
There is a group of oils, which are equally suitable for men and women: bergamot, juniper, patchouli, rosemary, lavender.
Even in the 16 th century, the Arabs believed lavender in the most effective means of removing the repulsive smell of female genitals, especially when their pathology. Lavandou used in the form of pads, in a mixture with salt, produces aromatic water. This property also has the smell of mint, camphor, rosemary, fir and cedar. Sex smells amplified alkalis, acids, attenuated.
In ancient Rome, for example, when essential oils have not yet learned to extract from the plant, a woman of the class before meeting with the man hours taken from the bath of rose petals. In general, the rose is associated with many legends.
Brought from the eastern countries in ancient Greece rose dedicated to the goddess of beauty Aphrodite. Greeks rose petals adorn marriage ceremonies, the bride is compared with the rosebud, and the plant is necessarily present in festive attire.
Incense as a means of sensual widely used in harems, priestesses of the ancient profession, as well as when they met in an intimate atmosphere.
For intimate atmosphere are recommended and widely used by so-called "sensual aromatic composition. It is composed of essential oils of ylang-ylang, cardamom, orange, bergamot, neroli, rose, geranium, mandarin.
Even in ancient times there were special recipes for the preparation of sensual compositions of essential oils. These compositions are due to synergistic action of constituents greater influence on the physiological (increased potency, the sensitivity of erogenous zones, etc.) and energy (erotic pulse, intuition, natural, etc.) Centers rights than individual essential oils. These aromatic blends possess attractive aroma and a powerful influence on the bodies of human sensuality.
Here are some of them:
Mixture of Aphrodite. Invented by women to the temptations of men. It is equally suitable for the young and women in age. So: 3 drops of ylang-ylang mixed with 2 drops of sandalwood, add 3 drops of rose or pink tree and 2 drops of nutmeg (you can Clary Sage). This composition of oils used for baths, fragrance, making shampoo massage.
Mixture of the winner. It is suitable for men. Mixture enhances potency, enhances psihoeroticheskuyu mood: 3 drops of ginger, plus 2 drops of cinnamon mixed with 3 drops of bergamot. It is used for baths, erotic massage, fragrance, making shampoo.
Delicate blend, or a mixture of Cleopatra: 4 drops Neroli combine with 3 drops of sandalwood and add 2 drops of bergamot and mint. Application of this mixture normalizes the nervous and psychological systems, stimulates impulses in the receptors that send signals to the erotoopredelyayuschie areas of the brain, changes the energy potential, restores the aura affects the endocrine system, increases the potency.
Perfume
In addition to essential oils, perfumes and colognes are also widely used in the intimate atmosphere to enhance psihoeroticheskoy disposition.
Rational use of perfume to attract the opposite sex is to choose the right direction the smell that most closely matches the natural smell of a partner, or to enhance the overall smell, which is most suitable for the harmony of their sexual feelings.
All existing flavors in the perfume can be obtained by mixing in appropriate proportions of aromatic scents. In nature, well-maintained the principle septimal: seven colors of the spectrum, seven simple sounds, the seven components of the odor - the foundation for building harmony of the surrounding world, which is human.
In harmony with the environment should be and the harmony of aromas. Modern perfumery production attaches great importance to their agreement. According to French perfumes, perfume, scent must have a perfect and harmonious, and at the same time delightfully new.
For your mood, age, lifestyle, clothing, skin color, hair color, a partner, as well as climate, season and days to choose a unique fragrance that will live in harmony with the surrounding world, please yourself and others.
The aroma of each woman or man should be linked to their personality, to create memories with each other in their absence, and only one unique, beloved scent can play all the bright, unforgettable moments of mutual communication, as well as certain smells are imprinted in our memories and are a kind of code which can cause the whole picture of memories of human life.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
The relationship of the spouses before the birth
Many women dream about how to get pregnant, go to sleep and wake up after the birth of the child (having slept through all 9 months), or have a baby in a month from the date of conception.
Of course, pregnancy - a difficult test for women, however, not all are aware of what changes and problems begin in family life after birth.
Also, as many spouses come to the doctor not to the conception of the child, and after, and also, as they are in no hurry to solve family problems before birth. And in vain, since the birth of a new family member completely rebuilt marital relationships, new roles, increasing the load on all family members, which usually exacerbates pre-existing problems in the family.
From the perspective of family therapy, family life involves certain stages of development, each of which involves a crisis of relationships. Here are the stages: the period of courtship, marriage, birth of children, the children go to school, adolescence, children leave the family (phase "empty nest"), one of the spouses dies. On the basis of my practice, we can say that the most acute crises shaking the family after the birth of the child, as well as during its maturation and separation from family.
The first crisis may be most acute if the period of courtship and marriage was very short, the relationship of the spouses did not have time yet to settle, "rubbing", and already they are expecting a baby. The second crisis is often visited by the couple, who have little in common hobbies and interests apart from everyday life and upbringing of children. In this case, after the departure of children from families, it appears that the marriage has already fulfilled its function and spouses are no more sense to stay together. Such disfuntsionalnaya family will do its utmost to prevent separation of children from their parents, encouraging them to irresponsibility and infantilism.
Returning to the first crisis, you can specify several possible causes: sexual "deprivation" of her husband, that is otstutsvie frequent sexual intercourse during pregnancy and after mother gives more attention to infant and husband, respectively, began feeling increasingly neglected, while at the same time he can help her avoid the housework and childcare, thus provoking resentment and anger of his wife. If the family already has one child, his competition and jealousy of a newborn is likely to become yet another cause tension in the family.
"My father says his son:
- You know, Stork, who brought you the little brother accidentally bite your mother
therefore it will have to wait a few days in the hospital.
- Here's trouble! - Meets the boy. - These were heavy labor, but there still is! "
Of course, well, when spouses can entrust the child's parents or babysitter and be alone, have the opportunity to choose "in people", but the possibility is not at all. Furthermore, the different perceptions of the spouses and their own parents about how to properly educate the heir will also generate their own conflicts.
In such a situation, it would probably be correct if the couple before the birth of the child sought to "settle" the existing problems in their relations to pregnancy and the postpartum period was the most calm. Harmonious marital relations during this period will also guarantee the absence of postpartum depression and anxiety in the mother. If you can not deal with problems on their own, for this family are psychologists and psychotherapists.
It is also necessary to establish certain rules of communication in the family, who are already often operate openly or secretly. These rules should include the solution of domestic problems, that is, allocation of responsibilities within the family, family leisure, views about the proper upbringing of children, the total budget, or distribution of material resources in the family, relationships with family and much more. Some of them are laid in the period of courtship, but finally become clear exactly when the couple begin to live together.
To do this themselves be intrinsically flexible, do not expect changes in the behavior of a partner, and start with themselves, abandoning the dogmas and stereotypes that unless the issue is not for you something very important, and global, that is fundamentally at odds with your inner values
Preparing for the birth to a new member of the family, you think not only about what diapers and vests him to buy, but also to think through and discuss together as will now be reallocated responsibilities and material resources in the family. You agree to this unless you both will not suit. The future, of course, will make its own corrections, but the foundation is already laid.
So, to me for assistance, please contact a family in which the girl was already about a year. In fact, they found themselves in a kind of isolation from the outside world after the birth. The mother was afraid to trust her daughter to any of the family, resulting in both husband and wife can spend time just at home with the child. In addition, the wife started to avoid sexual relations, as in the hospital her "alterations," her long healed stitches and sex caused her great pain. It turned out that her fears were not only physiological, but also psychological nature.
Ill-treatment in the hospital a woman has sparked memories of the earlier emotional trauma, and clearly it has been associated with psychological and physical abuse and neglect. High level of anxiety caused her to be isolated from the outside world. Her husband reacted with understanding to these issues. Because they raise the child alone, and he still had to earn money for the family, it is natural that all the problems of everyday life and care for her daughter lay on the shoulders of the mother. She resented that she did not help, he in turn began to accuse her of what works and earns money, he is one, in response to that, my wife even more offended and withdraws into himself. Thus both tired, so that just getting to bed and immediately fell asleep, not thinking about any sex.
This story can be called classical. For eighteen months we have been able to solve these problems so that the spouses have found someone they can trust from time to time caring for the child, and sexual relations have ceased to bring his wife to fear and discomfort, although before that they were ready to do her plastic surgery. Of course, were raised in family therapy themes of their joint leisure activities and allocation of responsibilities within the family. It takes into account the history and traditions of each parent families.
In such situations, very often their husbands, instead of figuring out what is really going on with his wife what had happened to their relationship, trying to find rest and somehow forget about their problems "on the side." Either they start to stay at work, and they are the mass of urgent matters, or are beginning to meet with other women. As the wife at this time tied to the child and the material depends on her husband, she has to endure all this. Perhaps that is why many marriages fail at a time when the child is about three years, ie, a time when the wife is tempered with each other and their stock of patience had been exhausted.
Furthermore, as said, the heroine in "The Barber of Siberia, a Russian man can not flirt with someone a little bit. You can get bogged down in a new relationship is thorough, that ultimately the fabric of the family and the breakdown of marriage. Interestingly, some women during pregnancy, offer themselves to their husbands' razdryadit "its power to someone else, without thinking about consequences.
So if a husband is behaving this way after giving birth, then after about three years, when his wife can return to work, and become more independent, more likely it will take "revenge", causing great confusion to her husband: "What the devil possessed her ?. Therefore, if sexual hunger prompts you to change spouse (wife), you need to understand that it is likely not solve the problems in the family, but rather complicate the situation.
Thus, the most common causes of family conflicts and betrayals are as follows: mismatch of interests and values of the spouses and the resulting tensions, corrupt sexual relations, as well as the difference in aims and expectations of marriage. If you are faced with this, then you have a reason to turn to family therapist, or by trying to create rules of communication within the family, identify common interests and goals.
Of course, pregnancy - a difficult test for women, however, not all are aware of what changes and problems begin in family life after birth.
Also, as many spouses come to the doctor not to the conception of the child, and after, and also, as they are in no hurry to solve family problems before birth. And in vain, since the birth of a new family member completely rebuilt marital relationships, new roles, increasing the load on all family members, which usually exacerbates pre-existing problems in the family.
From the perspective of family therapy, family life involves certain stages of development, each of which involves a crisis of relationships. Here are the stages: the period of courtship, marriage, birth of children, the children go to school, adolescence, children leave the family (phase "empty nest"), one of the spouses dies. On the basis of my practice, we can say that the most acute crises shaking the family after the birth of the child, as well as during its maturation and separation from family.
The first crisis may be most acute if the period of courtship and marriage was very short, the relationship of the spouses did not have time yet to settle, "rubbing", and already they are expecting a baby. The second crisis is often visited by the couple, who have little in common hobbies and interests apart from everyday life and upbringing of children. In this case, after the departure of children from families, it appears that the marriage has already fulfilled its function and spouses are no more sense to stay together. Such disfuntsionalnaya family will do its utmost to prevent separation of children from their parents, encouraging them to irresponsibility and infantilism.
Returning to the first crisis, you can specify several possible causes: sexual "deprivation" of her husband, that is otstutsvie frequent sexual intercourse during pregnancy and after mother gives more attention to infant and husband, respectively, began feeling increasingly neglected, while at the same time he can help her avoid the housework and childcare, thus provoking resentment and anger of his wife. If the family already has one child, his competition and jealousy of a newborn is likely to become yet another cause tension in the family.
"My father says his son:
- You know, Stork, who brought you the little brother accidentally bite your mother
therefore it will have to wait a few days in the hospital.
- Here's trouble! - Meets the boy. - These were heavy labor, but there still is! "
Of course, well, when spouses can entrust the child's parents or babysitter and be alone, have the opportunity to choose "in people", but the possibility is not at all. Furthermore, the different perceptions of the spouses and their own parents about how to properly educate the heir will also generate their own conflicts.
In such a situation, it would probably be correct if the couple before the birth of the child sought to "settle" the existing problems in their relations to pregnancy and the postpartum period was the most calm. Harmonious marital relations during this period will also guarantee the absence of postpartum depression and anxiety in the mother. If you can not deal with problems on their own, for this family are psychologists and psychotherapists.
It is also necessary to establish certain rules of communication in the family, who are already often operate openly or secretly. These rules should include the solution of domestic problems, that is, allocation of responsibilities within the family, family leisure, views about the proper upbringing of children, the total budget, or distribution of material resources in the family, relationships with family and much more. Some of them are laid in the period of courtship, but finally become clear exactly when the couple begin to live together.
To do this themselves be intrinsically flexible, do not expect changes in the behavior of a partner, and start with themselves, abandoning the dogmas and stereotypes that unless the issue is not for you something very important, and global, that is fundamentally at odds with your inner values
Preparing for the birth to a new member of the family, you think not only about what diapers and vests him to buy, but also to think through and discuss together as will now be reallocated responsibilities and material resources in the family. You agree to this unless you both will not suit. The future, of course, will make its own corrections, but the foundation is already laid.
So, to me for assistance, please contact a family in which the girl was already about a year. In fact, they found themselves in a kind of isolation from the outside world after the birth. The mother was afraid to trust her daughter to any of the family, resulting in both husband and wife can spend time just at home with the child. In addition, the wife started to avoid sexual relations, as in the hospital her "alterations," her long healed stitches and sex caused her great pain. It turned out that her fears were not only physiological, but also psychological nature.
Ill-treatment in the hospital a woman has sparked memories of the earlier emotional trauma, and clearly it has been associated with psychological and physical abuse and neglect. High level of anxiety caused her to be isolated from the outside world. Her husband reacted with understanding to these issues. Because they raise the child alone, and he still had to earn money for the family, it is natural that all the problems of everyday life and care for her daughter lay on the shoulders of the mother. She resented that she did not help, he in turn began to accuse her of what works and earns money, he is one, in response to that, my wife even more offended and withdraws into himself. Thus both tired, so that just getting to bed and immediately fell asleep, not thinking about any sex.
This story can be called classical. For eighteen months we have been able to solve these problems so that the spouses have found someone they can trust from time to time caring for the child, and sexual relations have ceased to bring his wife to fear and discomfort, although before that they were ready to do her plastic surgery. Of course, were raised in family therapy themes of their joint leisure activities and allocation of responsibilities within the family. It takes into account the history and traditions of each parent families.
In such situations, very often their husbands, instead of figuring out what is really going on with his wife what had happened to their relationship, trying to find rest and somehow forget about their problems "on the side." Either they start to stay at work, and they are the mass of urgent matters, or are beginning to meet with other women. As the wife at this time tied to the child and the material depends on her husband, she has to endure all this. Perhaps that is why many marriages fail at a time when the child is about three years, ie, a time when the wife is tempered with each other and their stock of patience had been exhausted.
Furthermore, as said, the heroine in "The Barber of Siberia, a Russian man can not flirt with someone a little bit. You can get bogged down in a new relationship is thorough, that ultimately the fabric of the family and the breakdown of marriage. Interestingly, some women during pregnancy, offer themselves to their husbands' razdryadit "its power to someone else, without thinking about consequences.
So if a husband is behaving this way after giving birth, then after about three years, when his wife can return to work, and become more independent, more likely it will take "revenge", causing great confusion to her husband: "What the devil possessed her ?. Therefore, if sexual hunger prompts you to change spouse (wife), you need to understand that it is likely not solve the problems in the family, but rather complicate the situation.
Thus, the most common causes of family conflicts and betrayals are as follows: mismatch of interests and values of the spouses and the resulting tensions, corrupt sexual relations, as well as the difference in aims and expectations of marriage. If you are faced with this, then you have a reason to turn to family therapist, or by trying to create rules of communication within the family, identify common interests and goals.
Good sex in a bad relationship
"Without love there is no good sex" - often we say. Suddenly, good sex, and suddenly, without love ... Everyone is building its scale of "good - bad". And even you have with your partner may have different assessments of your surroundings.
For example, in bed, everything will take even very good, but here's the rest leaves much to be desired. At present aspect of the relationship you care about most. The most important thing at this stage "construction" to give free rein to the natural course of things, not build your way to the impregnable barrier in the form of "should", "so right", "thou shalt" ... Otherwise, the already fragile Bedding harmony will be jeopardized .
Destructive pressure
"Sex should be a consequence of love ..." This and other similar dogma we at the tender age blindly accept at face value without checking, by not contesting, swallowing and not digested. Just take it as a guide to action. And it stuck "block" kept pushing us to the question: it does not show me the proper interest, it is necessary that it has changed, yes, good in bed, but it is not the main ...
So drop by drop of tar spoils a barrel of honey. The ought kills everything. And sex, and relationships. If you say to yourself: there should be a good sex - which means that it will not, be on good terms - it means ... The ought - it is a struggle with himself, this is a false moralizing in favor of meaningful for us, "educators." But in this case to make this assertion their experience!
Egg or chicken?
Frankly, the question that the primary, sex or relationships, reminiscent of another notorious dilemma: which came first, the chicken or the egg. Yet often the case that good sex creates an interest relations, puts a premium on openness, trust, common issues. Love involves an erotic dimension, because we fall in love in a sexually attractive to us humans. So, if you follow the tenet of "first attitude, we must convince yourself that your partner physically, we" disgusting ", but otherwise just darling ...
And wait until there love, that to this very moment suddenly remember that he has a strong beautiful body? Most likely, this love, too, will look like the violence on themselves. Even worse - to convince myself that it is, where it is absent. Finally, invented love, even worse than just understanding each other in bed. The curvature of the soul turns. A good relationship can be the basis of sex, but it is also true that a good sex contributes to the development of relations.
Playing in a bad relationship
"But why - asks Elina - after another scandal, we love each other intoxicating?" Is not surprising, since the scandal - is discharging, it is a splash of energy. And that is not discharged words and broken crockery, discharged during intimate duels. And the benefit staged scandal is obvious, but only for as long as him not reached the routine, everyday train. Lost the charm of novelty, it ceases to excite. Unfriendly, whatever one may relate to the humiliation. Judges and victims can turn to switch roles. Again, stress, a prelude to relaxation.
But the "strain" can be either destructive ( "Are you not noticed, not congratulated, not wiped his feet, too late, did not answer ..." or "you should meet me") - and then hello great sex. And you can - positively: as soon as sexual game with elements of sadomasochistic moved to the bedroom, the relationship alive. She went to cheat, there was passion, and already two "opponents" on the brink, you can not. And all the bans, as we know, poprityagatelnee magnet. It is better to play in the game-conscious than unconscious.
For example, in bed, everything will take even very good, but here's the rest leaves much to be desired. At present aspect of the relationship you care about most. The most important thing at this stage "construction" to give free rein to the natural course of things, not build your way to the impregnable barrier in the form of "should", "so right", "thou shalt" ... Otherwise, the already fragile Bedding harmony will be jeopardized .
Destructive pressure
"Sex should be a consequence of love ..." This and other similar dogma we at the tender age blindly accept at face value without checking, by not contesting, swallowing and not digested. Just take it as a guide to action. And it stuck "block" kept pushing us to the question: it does not show me the proper interest, it is necessary that it has changed, yes, good in bed, but it is not the main ...
So drop by drop of tar spoils a barrel of honey. The ought kills everything. And sex, and relationships. If you say to yourself: there should be a good sex - which means that it will not, be on good terms - it means ... The ought - it is a struggle with himself, this is a false moralizing in favor of meaningful for us, "educators." But in this case to make this assertion their experience!
Egg or chicken?
Frankly, the question that the primary, sex or relationships, reminiscent of another notorious dilemma: which came first, the chicken or the egg. Yet often the case that good sex creates an interest relations, puts a premium on openness, trust, common issues. Love involves an erotic dimension, because we fall in love in a sexually attractive to us humans. So, if you follow the tenet of "first attitude, we must convince yourself that your partner physically, we" disgusting ", but otherwise just darling ...
And wait until there love, that to this very moment suddenly remember that he has a strong beautiful body? Most likely, this love, too, will look like the violence on themselves. Even worse - to convince myself that it is, where it is absent. Finally, invented love, even worse than just understanding each other in bed. The curvature of the soul turns. A good relationship can be the basis of sex, but it is also true that a good sex contributes to the development of relations.
Playing in a bad relationship
"But why - asks Elina - after another scandal, we love each other intoxicating?" Is not surprising, since the scandal - is discharging, it is a splash of energy. And that is not discharged words and broken crockery, discharged during intimate duels. And the benefit staged scandal is obvious, but only for as long as him not reached the routine, everyday train. Lost the charm of novelty, it ceases to excite. Unfriendly, whatever one may relate to the humiliation. Judges and victims can turn to switch roles. Again, stress, a prelude to relaxation.
But the "strain" can be either destructive ( "Are you not noticed, not congratulated, not wiped his feet, too late, did not answer ..." or "you should meet me") - and then hello great sex. And you can - positively: as soon as sexual game with elements of sadomasochistic moved to the bedroom, the relationship alive. She went to cheat, there was passion, and already two "opponents" on the brink, you can not. And all the bans, as we know, poprityagatelnee magnet. It is better to play in the game-conscious than unconscious.
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